Nice Guys and White Knights
by quijibo7609
Summary: Cardin has a lovely lady he's fallen for. His own personal dark angel. Unfortunately, she more interested in someone else. A completely useless moron. However, a mysterious stranger offers him insight and hope. Bleiss related fic rated M for swearing. (Just to be on the safe side)


**Nice Guys and White Knights**

 **By quijibo7609 (Champion in Idiocy)**

 **Note: I had this aligned Left and Right like in a text message screenshot, in my google docs, but the website won't let me align it that way. So that kind of sucks.**

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I'm sick of it you know?

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

What?

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Women refusing to see the obvious!

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

LOL…..I'm a woman…:-)

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

… you're not just fucking with me are you…

 **BigBadBird:**

Please, please be fucking with me

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

(giggles) Nope!

 **Anikitos:**

Got to pee sitting down and everything... :D

* * *

 _Cardin rubbed his temples. Whoever Anikitos was, he… she… was one of the only people really worth talking to on Beacon's student server. Please, gods or whatever. Please no…_

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Please, please tell me you don't have dark hair…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Darkish…? But I wouldn't really describe it as that

 **Anikitos:**

Certainly not black or anything… why?

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

(sighs) The girl I'm complaining about has really dark hair.

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

I think you mean pining over ;-)

* * *

 _Cardin barked a rueful laugh. Dove looked up, Cardin glared at him until he looked away. Anikitos had him pegged alright, although it was pretty damned obvious. Well except to one girl anyways. The one that mattered._

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I'm a man, we don't pine…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

What would you call it then?

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Screaming into the void… or at you. Take your pick…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

It's about time you tell me about this mystery woman…

 **Anikitos:**

Maybe I can help a bit, give you some insight…

* * *

 _Cardin closed his eyes and took a steadying breath_.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Well I guess it couldn't hurt.

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

So first off what makes her special…

 **Anikitos:**

note: name a body part and I will judge you thoroughly

* * *

 _Cardin laughed. His girl did have an amazing ass, but even that wasn't the best thing about her_.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Well for starters. She doesn't take shit from anyone…

 **BigBadBird:**

I'll remember how we met until the day I die.

* * *

 _Cardin heard the yelling from down the hall._

" _I don't give two shits what you THINK the video shows, you gods-damned windbag! I KNOW that asshat Ozpin made a mistake!"_

 _Cardin thought this was pretty damned awesome. Bleiss Schnee, who was quite the little hottie, was tearing Port a new asshole! And he was just taking it!_

 _Cardin had noticed the raven haired beauty before. How could he not? Cardin was, after-all, a great admirer of the SDC. It was a company still proud to stand up for humanity. Still, he had somehow failed to appreciate the company's dark angel. No longer, it was love at first (or close enough) sight. Plus, you got to love a girl in a combat skirt known for wearing a thong._

" _Young Lady! Watch your tone, Headmaster Ozpin has never once lead me astray!"_

" _Who's fucking talking about you? No one gives a shit about you! No one ever gave a shit about you! I'm talking about me! I should be partnered with tall, blond and fuckable, and not stuck as the nursemaid to some childish little twit! If I wanted a damned pet I'd adopt a damned dog!"_

 _Cardin frowned. Sounded like she already had her eye on another guy… unless she was into that chick Yang that was on her team. That would be so fucking hot!_

 _The old fuck Port was rubbing his temples, but also looked a bit desperate for an escape. Cardin had difficulty holding in his laughter. Animal loving windbag was having difficulty dealing with a real woman._

" _Young lady, your skill as a huntress is matched only by your poor attitude. You heard the rules before initiation, throwing a tantrum now just makes YOU look like the child." Cardin smiled to himself, oh his dark angel wasn't going to take that shit._

 _Cardin had never seen actual murder spring up in someone's eyes, but he was pretty sure he was seeing it now. "I never made eye contact with the little clam-jamber! I did make eye contact with the blue-eyed Adonis in the tree!"_

 _Cardin tried to remember what color Yang's eyes were. He couldn't recall ever having noticed. In his defense, Yang was the type of girl no guy looked in the eye. Well unless they were gay or something. Then he tried to think of what an Adonis was… please let it have giant pillowy breasts!_

 _Port seemed to find his spine… sort of. He likely just recalled who was on the faculty with him. "The video was quite conclusive, your appeal has been denied. If you persist in this, I will personally have Professor Goodwitch explain the facts to you in intricate detail." Cardin winced in sympathy. He wasn't easily intimidated, but he was pretty sure the school's combat instructor could make a Goliath piss itself with a glance._

 _His dark angel backed off a bit too. No fool she. "Well, at least separate Jaune from that red-headed skank!"_

 _Jaune, who the fuck was Jaune? Well whoever he was, it shouldn't be too hard to get this dark angel to trade up._

" _Miss Nikos followed the rules and I think this conversation is over now."_

 _The old windbag stomped off down the hall. Cardin was pretty sure Port was in earshot when the black-haired beayty shouted, "ASSHOLE! One day I'll buy this fucking place, and when I do, I'm going to throw you and the dipshit in charge out! Right on your wrinkly old dicks!"_

 _Cardin decided this was a golden opportunity to swoop in and bond. "Port's quite a windy old asshole at that." His opener didn't have the desired effect._

 _Bleiss leveled one hell of top bitch glare at him. "Fuck. Off. Now."_

 _Cardin tried again, "I don't suppose you'd help me do that."_

 _Molten red eyes tried to incinerate im, armor and all, right in front of her. "So you know I'm already thinking of the most practical ways to dispose of dead bodies. Run away. Now. Before I fucking bump you to front of the line."_

 _Cardin decided that maybe this wasn't the time._

 _Cardin came out of his memories. Fuck she was hot when she was angry, but he really didn't want to tell Anikitos that. For all he knew, Anikitos could be one of Bleiss's teammates and anything he said here might be linked back to her. Well if they could figure out his moniker. BigBadBird was pretty vague._

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

So, was it love at first sight?

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Well from my end at least

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Ouch… unfortunately I can relate.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Oh… guy problems?

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Been friend-zoned… thoroughly.

 **Anikitos:**

Let's just say it isn't grand.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Ouch, still I'd settle for the friend-zone right about now

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Liar ;-)

* * *

 _Cardin barked laughter. Dove looked up again. Cardin reached beside his bed and lifted his mace. Dove hit the books again._

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Got me

 **Anikitos:**

Still… you got to start somewhere… right?

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

It's hard. For some reason she's into this other guy

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Oh? Well what's this guy like?

 **Anikitos:**

Maybe it will tell you what she's into!

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

In that case she's into incompetent morons

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

That… sounds like sour grapes…

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I stand by my description

* * *

 _If Bleiss didn't go to Beacon, Cardin was still pretty sure he'd enjoy tormenting that idiot Jaune. For one, he was easily the worst in combat class, and that included any member of the janitorial staff that might wander in that day. Cardin could have taken him out blindfolded, while wearing a strait-jacket, and with his shoe laces knotted together._

 _He swung his beloved mace at Jaune's head. "This is where you lose!"_

 _CLANG! Cardin looked up to where his beloved mace was now ensnared in a black spinning glyph. He pulled, yanked and nothing. Then the glyph turned red, and his Mace was suddenly ripped from his hands and flung straight through the ceiling. Cardin stared at the hole, kind of dumbfounded to be honest._

" _Now's your chance! Kick his fucking ASS!"_

 _Cardin looked at Jaune just in time to be smashed in the face with the cheating asshole's shield. He snarled, ready to rip the noodle apart with his bare hands when he was forcibly restrained by Goodwitch's semblance._

" _Mr. Winchester wins by disqualification. Miss Schnee, do see me after class."_

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

One day soon, I will get my hands on him

 **BigBadBird:**

They'll never find the body!

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Well, why not just challenge him?

 **Anikitos:**

This is a combat school, it's encouraged.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Let's just say he has a couple of bodyguards…

 **BigBadBird:**

One's I'd rather not fuck with

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

I thought you said you were the best in your year?

* * *

 _Cardin winced. He had said that, and just yesterday... Thankfully, he hadn't said which year. He thought of the most intimidating weapon he had ever seen…_

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Ever seen a mini-gun hand bag?

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Wait Coco? Coco is his bodyguard?!

* * *

 _Cardin winced. That had been too obvious now that he thought about it. Of course Coco Adel had rather recently pointed that mini-gun right at Cardin's face. It was the kind of weapon that made an impression. All over some fucking faunus crying about someone pulling on her stupid ears a little. Adel was a bitch. A lesbian bitch. A lesbian bitch who obviously indulged in bestiality. Cardin shook off the thoughts and tried to cover desperately._

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Among others

 **BigBadBird:**

I think that little rabbit pet of hers is sweet on him

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Velvet is chasing him too?

* * *

 _Cardin frowned. This lie was getting a bit out of hand. Just focus Cardin, get Anikitos back on task… what to do say though… Shit this is going to hurt, at least she'd never guess it was about Jaune Arc._

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Yeah women just line up and throw themselves at him

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Wow, sounds like a player.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Exactly!

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

What is it with you women not seeing the obvious!

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

I know it's rough.

 **Anikitos:**

Just trust me it's not easy our way either.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

No offense, but I doubt you've suffered like I have

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Okay…. Maybe…

 **Anikitos:**

I'm sorry. This is about you not me.

* * *

 _Cardin blinked then nodded at his computer screen. Anikitos gets it at least. Probably the only girl at Beacon that had an ounce of common sense._

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Don't worry about it…

 **BigBadBird:**

I just need a chance! One solid opening!

 _Cardin approached cautiously. She was obviously emotional right now, but swooping in and mending her broken heart wasn't an easy task. Actually, the attempt was liable to leave him face down on the ground with a very sharp stiletto heel in the back of his skull. He wished he hadn't gained that bit of knowledge through experience._

 _He held both hands up, both to show he meant no offense, and two ward off any sudden violent outbursts in his direction. "Anything I can do to help?" Hopefully that noodlely-sack-of-shit and the Nikos-Bitch had declared their everlasting love for each other… Please! Please! Please!_

 _Cardin had learned, in a rather harsh way, that picking on that idiot Arc was not a viable path to his dark angel's heart. He still wasn't certain what exactly happened at Forever Fall, only that he ended up covered in sap while being attacked by wasps and Ursas. It was a toss-up which was worse._

 _His dark angel had tears flowing down her cheeks, but they looked like tears of rage. Cardin smiled softly and lowered his hand to better defend his balls. "That cowardly cunt on my team ran off! Just fucking ran!"_

 _Cardin swallowed. She talked to him… without threatening his life, limbs, or genitalia. This was progress! Very slowly he asked for clarification, "Can I ask which one?"_

 _She blinked, then barked a laugh. "Blake's the cowardly one, Yang's the unfunny one. They're both cunts."_

 _Good, good. Still no violence and he made her smile. Keep it up Cardin, you're doing good. "I guess you think higher of Ruby."_

 _She smiled a bit bigger and Cardin fell in love all over again, "I guess I do. She grows on you. Being mad at her actually takes way more effort than it's worth."_

 _Cardin nodded and slowly relaxed. This was going good, time to take the plunge, "Well you know what they say about cunts right? Fuck-em!"_

 _Bleiss stopped smiling, and Cardin had no place to run. "What the fuck did you just call my teammate?"_

 _Cardin was confused. That line had been pure gold. Then it all went black. When he woke up, he was in quite a bit of agony._

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

One shot! And she'd instantly forget that asshole

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Just talking to her hasn't yielded good results?

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

No, the opposite of what I want in fact

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

I guess you mean something bad

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Way worse than bad.

 **BigBadBird:**

Last time she may have tried to kill me

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Why do I doubt your exaggerating…?

* * *

 **BigbadBird:**

I wish I was. I really wish I was…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Can I let you in on a feminine secret?

* * *

 _Cardin felt hope flare in his breast. This sounded promising. This sounded like Anikitos had an idea of how to help him!_

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I'm all ears. Trust me on that

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Most women, even huntresses…

 **Anikitos:**

Have a defense mechanism.

 **Anikitos:**

Let's call it the creeper button.

 **Anikitos:**

Helps us know when a guy is trouble.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I'M NOT A CREEPER!

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

I didn't say you were.

 **Anikitos:**

The button isn't always right.

 **Anikitos:**

Problem is… the button is usually right

 **Anikitos:**

You likely hit her creeper button.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Well how the fuck do I unhit the button!

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

That… isn't very easy…

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

How hard is it…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Like staying awake through Port's class

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

That at least sounds possible…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

After your roommate kept you awake with her snoring

 **Anikitos:**

For two straight weeks

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

We're talking obese grandfather level of snoring

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

And you're hung over

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I get it…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

And you have a cold

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

So you took some medicine

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I get it!

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

But didn't read the label

 **Anikitos:**

Which clearly warns you that it may cause drowsiness

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I GET IT!

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

All that times 100.

 **Anikitos:**

Sorry I just want you to know what you're up against

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Please tell me you have something…

 **BigBadBird:**

Other than despair…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

I do, it's a long shot, but still possible

 **Anikitos:**

But you need a patsy.

 **Anikitos** :

Have a wannabe lady's man you can sick on her?

* * *

 _Cardin leaned back. The blue-haired pretty-boy sniffing around his girl had been an annoyance. He had only been saved because Bleiss would have none of it. In fact she laughed right in his face when he made a move. It was hysterical._

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

I have someone in mind.

 **BigBadBird:**

Don't know if he'd listen to me though

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Wannabe Lady's Men are a different breed.

 **Anikitos:**

Don't confuse them with guys that have actual game

 **Anikitos:**

Wannabes are low effort guys just looking to swoop in

 **Anikitos:**

They want a target, some girl that's been wounded

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

How does that help?

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

I'm getting to that, but first

 **Anikitos:**

Going to be honest.

 **Anikitos:**

I'm pretty sure I know who your girl is

* * *

 _Cardin felt a shiver of fear… she couldn't have pieced this together. He had been way too careful!_

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Not literally, of course, but as a type

* * *

 _Cardin felt an explosive breath leave him. Okay he was safe. After a moment he realized he should have known better. Still, Anikitos should offer some evidence that she'd figured it out._

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Prove it, I'm listening…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

… okay

 **Anikitos:**

She's the kind of girl that protects herself

 **Anikitos:**

She wants to feel safe

 **Anikitos:**

Probably why she's fixated on a weaker guy

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

That makes sense…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

You're not weaker, so she's a bit intimidated

 **Anikitos:**

Probably what triggered her creeper button

 **Anikitos:**

What we need is to show her an actual creep.

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

With you so far…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

So we sick an actual creep on her

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

And I ride in to save the day!

 **BigBadBird:**

I like it!

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

That would work…

 **Anikitos:**

…if you hadn't already hit her creeper button

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

… so we're back to square one…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Not quite.

 **Anikitos:**

We just need to be a bit cleverer.

 **Anikitos:**

Have you ever noticed;

 **Anikitos:**

Weak men tend to be White Knights?

* * *

 **BigBadBird:**

Agreed. Annoying self-righteous pricks…

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Well…..

 **Anikitos:**

Have you ever noticed how predictable White Knights are?

* * *

 _Cardin then became privy to perhaps the most brilliant plan ever concocted by anyone. Man or woman._

* * *

"You heard me Red! You know that was a lucky shot!"

Jaune blinked. So did Pyrrha. Jaune would fully admit Cardin was quite a bit better than himself in the ring, but Pyrrha had just destroyed him… and his entire team! What did he possible think he'd gain from antagonizing her?

Cardin then floored everyone when he dropped the other shoe, "I want a rematch!"

Nora was having trouble understanding the big brute herself. "You want Team CRDL to fight Pyrrha again…?" she asked.

Cardin looked at her like she was stupid, "No. Team CRDL versus Team JNPR! Anyplace and anywhere!"

Ren spoke up, "That doesn't seem very advisable…"

Cardin smiled, "I have a secret weapon?"

Nora's eyes lit up, "Oh I love secrets! I also love weapons! Does it explode! Does it smash! Does it explode and smash!"

Ren looked at her, "Nora, I doubt their secret weapon is another Magnhild."

Nora looked sad, "But I want to learn how to duel wield!"

Jaune pictured that in his head… and pictured the resulting damage to the countryside. He shuddered. Jaune noticed Cardin's face. He was obviously having a similar thought. There was something disturbing in having a similar thought to Cardin. Both teenagers shook it off in the same moment.

"Nah," Cardin smiled big, "My secret weapon is right here at the table." Jaune had a sinking suspicion. Nora did to, judging from the sudden firm set of her jaw. Ren was the next to speak.

"I wouldn't say it Cardin."

"It's called a Jaune. Guaranteed to tank any team carrying his worthless ass."

Pyrrha stood in anger. Nora grinned like a maniac. Ren sighed with frustration. Jaune felt like, well shit.

Nora spoke first. "Renny, you heard the man. He specifically asked for his legs to be broken today. I say rematch it is!"

Pyrrha was roughly eye to eye with Cardin, she was also clearly not amused. Cardin sneered at her. Jaune felt even more like shit. His team was protecting him again. Whether it was from Cardin or Ruby's crazy partner, his team always rallied to protect him.

Pyrrha looked at Jaune, and smiled softly, "I think that sounds grand."

Jaune felt his guts knot up. Not from fear, Jaune could easily just hop out of the ring and watch the rest of his Team destroy Cardin and company. No it was because Sky was ranked nearly as low as Jaune himself, and Sky would make mincemeat out of Jaune in the ring. Hell in the food fight that happened last week, all he did was get flung around like he was just another one of the cafeteria tables.

Swallowing his pride and begging Pyrrha to help him improve had helped. Jaune had narrowed the gap at least a bit, but by no means had he turned a corner to the point of being able to go toe to toe with any of the other students here. He was the weakest student at Beacon, and that fact was not a secret.

"He's gunna chicken out there Red, look at his face. He looks sick!" Cardin crowed.

Jaune saw the disappointment in his partner's eyes. He swallowed, damn that hurt.

"Of course, it could be something else," Cardin leered at Pyrrha, "Something far worse than the thrashing we'd give him."

Pyrrha rounded on him, "What kind of worse?"

Cardin's smile was vicious, "Anyone ask you to the dance yet Red?"

Pyrrha blushed, and stammered, "No…"

"Looks like Jauney-boy knows he's gunna have to jump on that grenade."

Jaune swung his fist and some strange things started happening. First off, Cardin seemed to know it was coming and didn't do much more than flinch. Second, Pyrrha didn't stop him. Jaune knew she had seen the swing early enough to prevent him from making contact. Third aura flared around his hand, so his fist looked like streaking comet. Fourth, the resulting impact obviously, and very surprisingly, hurt Cardin.

Cardin stepped back, wobbling on his legs a little. He clutched his jaw, and Jaune knew that aura or no aura Cardin would be sporting a hell of a bruise tomorrow. Cardin stepped forward only to instantly be arrested by Goodwitch's semblance.

"Mr. Arc! Mr. Winchester! My office now!"

* * *

/\

* * *

Cardin was just walking out of Goodwitch's office. Jaune, that little shit-heel had been excused two hours earlier with barely more than a warning. Even though the fucker had thrown the only punch. Shit Cardin's jaw hurt. Didn't think Jaune had it in him.

Then he saw his furious dark angel.

"You! You! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Bleiss stormed right at him, looking like she intended to go straight through him.

Cardin took a deep breath. Phase one had gone okayish, minus Jaune actually knowing how to throw a proper punch. No real way Anikitos could know that honestly, but things got trickier in phase two.

"What vile thing did I do now? What's landing me in infirmary today?" Cardin growled, letting his real frustration seep into his voice.

His dark angel paused, then quickly recollected herself, "Jaune asked Pyrrha to the dance because of you!"

"How is it my fault that your boyfriend is an idiot with women? Please tell me? This should be pretty fucking rich!" Cardin snapped as he stormed past her. It was very difficult not to smile as he heard her high heels clacking on the tiles as she struggled to keep up. Bleiss grabbed him by the shoulder. Cardin shrugged it off. She did it again, this time Cardin rounded on her.

"WHAT!"

Bleiss stepped back at his volume. Cardin saw uncertainty in her eyes for the first time. Her tone was calmer than before, but it was still icy, "You antagonized him! You basically dared him to go to the dance with her!"

Cardin looked at her like she was stupid. Bleiss borderline snarled in response, "So? I fucking hate him! He wants to volunteer to be miserable? So be it!"

Bleiss growled, "He should have asked me!"

Cardin barked a laugh, "Yeah he should. Hell I'd kill to have you on my arm there. Still, it not my fucking fault he's a moron!"

Her eyes went arctic. Quite the trick when you have red eyes. Anikitos had warned him she'd sniff out this level of deception. Cardin hoped she wouldn't sniff any further. "You did it on purpose…"

Cardin stared her straight in the face, "So?"

Bleiss's eyes widened, "You admit it!"

Cardin shrugged, "Yeah. My question remains. So?"

More uncertainty entered her gaze, but her tone was absolutely murderous. "So what is stopping me from force feeding you your own testicles?"

Cardin laughed. Bleiss's eyes were now completely bewildered. "Nothing I guess." Bleiss blinked at him, and Cardin watched all her anger just evaporate in her confusion. Now was his one chance to unhit the creeper button, and Cardin took careful aim, "I suck with women. I admit it. I like you. I admit it. You like Jaune. I admit that. This situation sucks for me, least _you_ could do is give me that."

Cardin sighed. He made sure it wasn't melodramatic. "I goaded him just on the off-chance that maybe, just fucking maybe, you'll start seeing him the way I see him." He waited for a response.

Bleiss glared, "I'm not going with you."

Cardin glared back, "I'm not asking. I'd just be that moron's proxy. Believe it or not I have more self-respect than that." Cardin turned and walked away, knowing to look back was to lose. It was a near thing but he managed it.

* * *

\/

* * *

Neptune was trying valiantly to redeem his rep. Getting covered in goop during the food fight hadn't helped. Neither did Yang announcing that he had screamed like a little kid the one (and only) time he rode with her on that motorcycle of hers. The clincher had been him asking Bleiss to the dance, and her laughing so hard she nearly fell down. After that, Neptune couldn't hate Beacon anymore if it was at the bottom of the ocean.

A burly armored thundercloud, one given human form, stormed past him. Said thundercloud then proceeded to sit down at a nearby bench, and screamed at the sky. "Women are crazy!"

Neptune blinked at the man, but he had to concur, "I take it your asking someone to the dance went poorly." Neptune smiled knowingly.

The man glared, then laughed at himself. "I didn't bother, she's not interested."

"Ouch." Neptune said offhandedly, already losing some interest.

"Yeah she's into this idiot Jaune, she's basically just sitting around, pining, and waiting for him to ask her." The big ape shrugged one impressive shoulder, "Go figure right?" Neptune, who was still dateless, smelled an opportunity.

Neptune was now all ears, "You're not into Pyrrha Nikos are you?" Please, please, please… he thought to himself.

The man looked at Neptune like he was a moron, "No Bleiss Schnee. Pyrrha's kind of a bitch to be honest."

Neptune found it very difficult to not lick his lips… he probably did a little anyways. If he showed up at the dance with Bleiss on his arm, that would fix almost everything. Neptune took a step like he was going to need a running start. "Hope it works out for you bud, plenty of fish in the sea and all that." Neptune tried not to rush off… he probably did a little anyways. He was on a mission.

Cardin smirked as he watched the peacock run off.

* * *

\/

* * *

Bleiss was going to kill someone. She had, admittedly at the last moment, decided that someone wasn't going to be named Cardin Winchester, but today she was going to fucking kill somebody. Not for the first time, she wished she had a snowball's chance against Pyrrha in the ring. Maybe if Coco let her borrow her bag…

"Hey there Hot-stuff!" a voice called from behind her. Bleiss smiled pleasantly at the idiot that just volunteered to be sacrificed on the altar of her anger. "I heard your first choice for the dance bailed on you. Allow Neptune, mender of broken hearts, to accompany you instead."

Bleiss blinked. No way Glynda could blame her for anything after hearing a line like that. Glynda was a woman after all. Neptune blinked when he saw the variable dust rapier aimed at his face. One chamber flared blue. The blast of ice dust blew him straight off his feet. His ankles hit the edge of a spinning white glyph, causing him to tumble head over heels until he ended up frozen and upside-down in the corner.

Bleiss heard laughter, and spun. She glared balefully at Cardin Winchester.

He raised both his hands, "Sorry, usually I'm the idiot who winds up with hypothermia."

Bleiss raised her eyebrows, "Want to join him?"

"Not particularly."

Bleiss looked at him, and her tone was threatening, "You going to ask me to the dance now?"

Cardin laughed, and she blinked at him, "Whatever keeps me alive until tomorrow."

Bleiss nodded, "I'm wearing red. Plan accordingly."

Cardin grinned as he nodded.

"This doesn't mean I like you. It just means you're the best remaining option."

"I understand."

Cardin thought Anikitos was an unparalleled genius.

* * *

/\

* * *

 _Ozpin waited somewhat impatiently for his current nemesis to log on. He knew only that she was female and used an old Mistrali word for a handle. Presently, his computer chimed, letting him know she had arrived. Ozpin guessed she was a member of one of the transfer students for the festival, but couldn't confirm that… he may have committed resources he shouldn't have in the attempt._

 **MisterWizard:**

Ah, I see the invincible one returns.

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

You know what?

 **Anikitos:**

Most people don't speak old Mistrali

 **Anikitos:**

Or did you cheat and Goggle it?

* * *

 _Ozpin hurriedly closed the search engine on his browser. After all, old Mistrali was a tricky tongue he had never mastered… or learned at all actually. Then he realized that whomever Anikitos was it, was highly doubtful she'd hacked his computer and could therefore see whatever was on his screen._

 _Just as well since he had previously been looking at a bootleg copy of the new Ninjas of Love anime adaption. Although, it really was a borderline H-title._

* * *

 **MisterWizard:**

I've spent time in Mistral

 **MisterWizard:**

Quite a bit of time actually

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

I noticed you didn't answer the question

 **Anikitos:**

Going to assume Goggle

 **Anikitos:**

Want to play another game?

* * *

 _Ozpin licked his lips. He's been waiting for a rematch all morning. Today was the day he finally broke through against this mysterious student._

* * *

 **MisterWizard:**

That sounds like a wonderful idea

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

You have the honor.

 **Anikitos:**

You had the honor before that.

* * *

 **MisterWizard:**

I am aware

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

And before that :-)

* * *

 **MisterWizard:**

Pride oft comes before the fall.

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

You must have given Prof Port quite a run for his lien then

 **Anikitos:**

Given that you've now run into me.

* * *

 _Ozpin winced. That was a bit uncalled for. Ozpin moved his avatar to one the game lounges, waiting for the student to take the other seat. When she did, a virtual chessboard sprung up between them. Unfortunately, so did their personal win-loss. Ozpin was now zero for nine against this mystery student._

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

So, how about best of 19 now?

* * *

 **MisterWizard:**

You seem quite… saucy today

 **MisterWizard**

May I inquire as to why?

* * *

 _Ozpin moved decisively, knowing better than to concede the center to his opponent. Getting cute had cost him a defeat in twenty two moves during that first game. Anikitos contested, obviously setting up to trade her bishop for gaining the initiative. The game proceeded accordingly. After a bit she responded._

* * *

 **Anikitos:**

Well… a boy I like…

 **Anikitos:**

Finally got around to asking me to the dance

* * *

 **Hey it's Remnant 4chan style! Honestly, I felt like a Bleiss fic where Pyrrha came out the winner was needed. So sue me. And nice girl or not, you know she'd sick Cardin on Bleiss if she could manage it. Wait, what am I talking about? That's exactly what "Nice girls" and "Nice Guys" do! And maybe, Bleiss might deserve that… I take that back. No one deserves Cardin.**

 **quijibo7609**


End file.
